The Creeepy Pasta

It was just a normal day.
i was waking home from school wen I saw a weird dark alley.
"Hey Kaylee" I said to mah bffff Kaylee.
"What" she said
"Look a dark alley" I said
"Cool let's go in" she said excited.
We stepped into the creepy alley and then Kaylee said
"Stop!"
"Hammer time!" Some person inside echoed.
"Let's leave all of our valuable belongings outside of the alley." She said.
"Okay let's leave our phones too" I said.   "Great we don't need them anyways"
She said.
I cautiously stepped back inside.
"I'm going in alone" I said.
"Wait Mary Sakura Kawaii!" Kaylee yelled.
My name is Mary Sakura Kawaii Sugoii Sue even tho I'm 90℅ american and 10℅ potato.
"Wut" I asked.
"Its dangerous to go alone!" She yelled.
"Take this!" The creepy voice from before said. We walked into the alley and found a creepy old dude. He looked really suspicious. Suddenly I knew who he was.
"Oh em gawsh, its a hobo" I wispered to kaylee. 
"Maybe he wants money!" Kaylee said. "I hope not." I said.
"I'm not giving u money, hobo!" I yelled to him.
"I don't want any money..." He said.
"Who are you" I asked curiously.
"I'm batman." He replied.
"Rellly?" I asked. "No not really I'm Crêpe E. Oldood." He said.
"Wow your name sounds so French!" Kaylee said. 
He took out a Chinese takeout box and handed it to me. 
"Take this" he said
"Dude I thot yoo were French" I said. "That's racist , like wow" kaylee said.
"No I'm half american half waffle" he said. 
"Be warned tho" he said
"Y" I said.
"Its haunted!!!1!!1!1!one1!" He yelled
"Lol u crazy" I sed. Haunted? No way!
"And 3spooky5you!!!!!!" He see but we walked away. 
The box had weird red stains on it that looked kinda like blood but it was probably just really dark ketchup. I wanted to ask the old dude where he got the ketchup but he was gone.
I went home like nothing had happened cos this is toootally normal.
I invited kaylee over for a slumber party becuz y not its a Friday.
Ya
Its Friday, Friday, gotta get down on friiiiiday.
She sed yes and we had a fun play date. Don't judge I'm only 14 years cute I can call it that OK.
"Hey we should go downstairs tonite and check out that weird box." I said to Kaylee while we in the pillow fort I made in my room. Don't juge hater.
"Yassss girl" she replied. 
Later I got hungry, so I got out the weird box.
I looked at the box again and saw that "Do NOT open " was ritten in that weird blood ketchup but I shrugged it off.
I decided to wait for kaylee tho cas we r bffffs
At 11:58 we snuck downstairs into the basement cause that's the safest place evaarrrr.
It was dark except for some candles with weird green flames that were burning even tho no ones been down there in years. I shrugged it off. Mayb they always burned or somthing.
There was also "silence" written on the wall in weird blood ketchup but I shrugged it off. There was also a weird alien that kinda looked like slender. I turned to kaylee to 
Wait, what was I doing? I can't remember. I noticed I had ten taly marks on my arm, but wutever. I placed the box down on the floor and got redy to open it. 
Okay on the count of three " I said to kaylee. 
"One..."
"Two.."
"666.."
"Three!"
We opened it and saw the spookiest thing ever.
It was pasta but with eyes and a mouth. Suddenly the room was covered in blood.
"Well its somebody's time of the month" I sad. Suddenly, on one wall "silence
I kill you" was written.
"1337spooky1339me!" Kaylee yelled.
"I'm gonna eat you...creatively!" The creepy pasta yelled.
Suddenly the notepad from "don't hug me I'm scared" appeared and screamed
"GREEN IS NOT A CREATIVE COLOR!!1!1!"
suddenly the pasta launched itself onto kaylees face probably because she was waring a green sweater but idk.
"Heeeelp meeeee!" She shreked.
Suddenly the pasta stuck its noodles in her mouth and started biting her lip. It was hawt. I took 1337 pictures and uploaded them to Instagram. Suddenly I realized it was midnight. I checked the clock on my phone but it said 6:66. 
"Oh my gawsh its haunted!!!" I screamed. 
Suddenly Kaylee's head was gone and she was ded. The pasta was eating her! And I was next! Oh no!
"Oh no you didn't!" I yelled at the pasta.
Suddenly it turned to me and launched itself at my face but I am secretly a magical girl so I yelled 
"GO GO POWA RANGERS!" and transformed with lots a sparkls
I was naked tho but all glowy and I would've taken self is but its a secret so shhh
I transformed into magical sparkle kawaii mega burst mode hyper chaos sailor Teletubby phantom alicorn super saiyan element of harmony Mary sakura kawaii sugoi sue. I wore a sailor school uniform with cat ears and a cat tail to hide my identity. 
"Mew new sailor ranger Mary!" I yelled.
The pasta missed me cos it was blinded by my transformation becus
You kno, it can do that because I'm a magical girl and I don't want to attract perverts.
Suddely a picture of Kaylee with hyper-realistic blood and guts appeared on my phone, and "The best song ever" by 1D in G major started playing backwards on my phone.
I used my strongest attack, kawaii desu sugoi kowai sakura hyper chaos super mega ultra potato Beyoncé neko pewdiepie stephano slender ben cute love pokemon weaboo otaku beam!
IT'S SUPPER-EFFECTIVE! 
A random Pokemon text box appeared to display the message.
However, the creepy pasta killed me, screaming 
"YOU SHOULDNT HAVE DONE THAT GO TO SLEEP AAAAAAAAA WANT TO SEE MY HEAD COME OFF READY FOR ROUND TWO SHREK IS LOVE SHREK IS LIFE!"
Suddenly I was a ghost and I cried. 
The end.
lik this if u cri evertim